My unemployed husband lost $30K on trading cards and I don’t earn enough to support our family. What should we do?

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Rebecca Holland

6 min read

Financial infidelity is surprisingly prevalent, and the costs — both emotional and financial — can be devastating.

Data from the National Endowment for Financial Education, featuring over a decade of research, shows that 41% of partnered Americans admit to deceiving their spouse about their finances or purchases. Meanwhile, 75% reveal that financial lies have affected their past or present relationships (1).

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This kind of deception can range from lying about the cost of purchases or hiding shopping bags from a spouse to secret bank accounts and investments. In some cases, it can even mean hiding a side hustle.

Consider the case of Jennifer. Just six months postpartum, she discovered that her husband, Ben, had sunk $30,000 into a secret business where he bought and sold Magic The Gathering trading cards online. He was recently laid off from his job as a software developer and has been struggling to find work since. Since he also carries significant credit card debt, the couple is facing serious financial difficulties on top of the betrayal Jennifer feels over Ben’s reckless behavior.

Jennifer works as a journalist and makes $80,000 per year. Their expenses include a $2250 monthly mortgage and $16,000 yearly for childcare — the average cost for their home state of Delaware (2). Jennifer knows she doesn’t make enough to cover their monthly expenses and make a meaningful dent in the $50,000 of debt they now hold, and Ben’s unemployment insurance only covers a small portion of their bills.

Not all hope is lost, however. Here’s what the couple can do to repair the damage, both to their finances and to their relationship.

Trading cards have seen a resurgence in popularity in the last decade, driven mainly by millennial and Gen Z customers who are seeking a nostalgic thrill while hoping to use the them as alternative investments.

“Lots of adults are buying these because it brings them back to a time when they had no cares in the world,” Juli Lennett, vice president and industry advisor for Circana’s U.S. toys practice told CNBC (3). “It’s an affordable luxury with the economy right now. Some couldn’t afford cards as kids and now they have their own money and no one’s there to say ‘no’.”

In fact, the industry is booming. The Wall Street Journal reported in September 2025 how investments in Pokémon cards delivered a cumulative return of 3,821% between 2004 and 2025 (4). Grand View Research estimates that the sports trading cards market, valued at $13.51 billion in 2025, will soar to $24.71 billion by 2033 (5).

However, some experts are sounding the alarm on how indulging in this potentially lucrative hobby can be strikingly similar to a gambling addiction. One multi-country study that followed 2,000 card buyers across the U.S., U.K., Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and Ireland found that buying these trading cards was linked to a gambling disorder (6).

The allure of making a quick buck is a huge part of the appeal of this secondary trading market. Stories abound of those who have struck it rich buying and selling old cards, including the 27-year old man profiled in the Wall Street Journal who paid for his fiancée’s 3.5 carat diamond engagement ring with the proceeds from selling one of his rare Pokémon cards (5).

However, critics warn that the market is highly speculative. For baseball cards, the initial 1980s market boom crashed after companies ramped up production. Experts also say that a card’s value is tied to the public perception of the featured star athlete. If the player is injured or embarrasses themselves publicly, the value of their card will depreciate accordingly. The market’s current bubble for all trading card types could also pop as soon as popular taste trends in new directions (5). Therefore, prudent financial advisors caution investors against investing in this form of alternative asset with more money than they can afford to lose.

Ben’s decision to bet big on a risky venture and hide major purchases from Jennifer is not only an act of financial infidelity, it is likely also a sign of a gambling disorder that should be addressed with a qualified professional.

His secrecy during a significant change in the couple’s life will also have a profound impact on the stability of their marriage. In any stage of life, but especially when starting a family, finances need to be an open book. The pair should not only disclose their assets and debts, but they should also be honest about, and find alignment on, money values and goals for the future. This includes creating a shared budget that also includes timelines on when to reach specific financial milestones.

It’s also important to address whether the financial infidelity was an attempt to “even the score” or rebel against some unspoken issue in the marriage

To repair their relationship and the broken trust, Ben and Jennifer should consider marriage counseling and look into working with a financial advisor who specializes in married couples. While the emotional damage may take longer to heal from, the financial damage can be mitigated with the following steps:

To prevent further misuse of money, Jennifer can separate her own finances and the household accounts from Ben’s
The couple can seek assistance from The National Foundation for Credit Counselling or another nonprofit in their area to help set a new budget and tackle the debt Ben has accumulated
Because Jennifer is a new mother and Ben is unemployed, the couple may qualify for the Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants, and Children (WIC) or SNAP benefits. They should also inquire about utility-assistance programs or child and health care subsidies for low-income families

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We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our editorial ethics and guidelines.

National Endowment for Financial Education (1); CNBC (2), (3); Wall Street Journal (4); Grand View Research (5); Leon Y. Xiao, City University of Hong Kong (6)

This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.

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